David DeAngelo - Dating Tips for Men on Insecurity and Neediness

Neediness and Insecurity – two of the absolute KILLERS of attraction that David DeAngelo talks about in his Double Your Dating eBook. Both of these things – these traits or learned characteristics or even call them symptoms of the need for maturity will deflate attraction like a shotgun blast to a balloon.

David DeAngelo says that a man is “needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows that he’s insecure when he ACTS on these needs” (Double Your Dating, pg 49). In the same vein, a man is insecure when he feels or acts like he is tentative, indecisive, weak and seeking approval of others to validate his actions.

Women – always on the lookout for Alpha Male behavior in those they find attractive, detect this kind of behavior instantly in a man (or actually, in a wanna-be-man if this is the case).

If you are not sure exactly what kind of behaviors this entails, David DeAngelo gives a few very good examples in Double Your Dating.

One example of negative, non-alpha male behavior is talking about women you have dated, slept with or hung out with in a negative manner. Or anyone – really. I’m not saying for you to sing praises of any woman you have ever come across – but don’t bitch like a girl about them either. If you don’t have anything nice or worthwhile to say, keep your mouth shut. Remember the Golden Rule (David DeAngelo style) It’s much sexier to seem quiet and mysterious than to open your mouth and prove you are a dumbass.

Hanging all over a woman. If a woman wanted a hanger-on, she would buy a shawl. Do not touch or crowd a woman in the beginning, this is a sign of aggression and therefore immaturity and neediness.

Overt expressions of anger, aggression and hostility, too, are seen as very immature by women. Dude – if you are one of those oversized babies that flies off the handle when you are changing a light bulb if the damn thing does not go in right – GROW UP. Take some time, invest in yourself and find the root of your anger problem – and FIX IT. There are few things less attractive to women (or your friends, relatives, acquaintances, co-workers and the joe-schmoes that drive beside you every day to work) than immature, volatile anger. I have known this kind of anger to break otherwise great relationships – because people get tired of it very quickly.

Always looking to others to make the decisions is another thing David DeAngelo points out as a sign of insecurity. Quit asking people, “What do you think I should do” or “What do YOU want to do?” or “Do you think I should….” Make a decision, go with it and if she does not like it, she will let you know! And if she DOES let you know – don’t be apologetic, just say “Oh! Ok then!” Don’t slob all over yourself trying to apologize for an error in judgment that you could not possibly have foreseen.

David DeAngelo also cites attention ploys as VERY needy and insecure. DO NOT do things just to get attention. If you could possibly preface your action with “Hey! Look at ME!” – then don’t do it. My buddy’s three year old boy does that – and its cute when you are three. You can read – you are not three.

Lastly, one of the characteristics of neediness and insecurity is ARGUING. David DeAngelo says that “If you’re one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you’re insecure and needy. You may always be right, but being overly argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it. If you really want to argue with something, do it in a funny way and not in a serious way” (Double Your Dating, p 50).

So, keep these dating tips for men in mind from David DeAngelo, and deal with your insecurity and neediness in order to become the alpha male that women find attractive, confident and sexy. You will Double Your Dating in NO TIME flat if you weed these undesirable traits out of your repertoire of characteristics.