Sunday, September 6, 2009

Dating Advice from David DeAngelo - How To Get Out of the Friend Zone!

A common request for dating advice that David DeAngelo gets is how to move a woman from the friend zone to a lover. The answer to this question, in one simple word, is …. Momentum. Now, this will work – most of the time – but keep in mind that not every woman is the same, and not every situation is the same, but the most common denominator in success with women when moving from a friend to a girlfriend is the continued application of attraction building actions.

David DeAngelo believes, as do I, that if you have a witty, intelligent, attractive woman who thinks you are a good friend, you have to continually use attraction building techniques with her in order to get her to shift gears. You have to get her wired up – you have to push her attraction buttons by using techniques like Cocky Comedy and physical suggestion to get her attuned to you sexually.

In other words, you have to ramp up the sexual tension. It’s very easy to remain in the friend zone – in fact, according to David DeAngelo, the friend zone basically requires zero work. You listen to her, you help you, and you’re all buddy-buddy with her without her ever realizing that you are a real MAN and that you could offer her so much more.

But if you want to move on, you need to do more. Using David DeAngelo’s Cocky Comedy, for one, is a good starter. Cocky Comedy is a great tool whereby you are teasing her, confusing her a little and revving up the attraction by making jokes, being unpredictable, and generally telling her one thing with your words and another with your body language. And it really works.

Here are some concrete examples.

1- Bust on her. David DeAngelo tells his readers to pick on the girl a little bit. Make comments about her shoes or her shirt or her purse. For example, ask her if her she got her purse at the local backpacking convention (if it’s big) or if it is small, if it’s got stuck on high heat in the dryer. Tell her she is wearing the ugliest shoes you have ever seen (but say it with a smile of course so your WORDS are saying one thing, and keeping her off balance, but your body language is telling her that you are joking).

2- Push and pull physically. Pull her in for a hug, and then push her away, telling her to get off you and quit groping you. In other words, confuse her and keep her off balance by giving her some physical affection, but then immediately pushing her away in a joking manner and blaming it on her. David DeAngelo says this is a fantastic attraction builder because women want the physical attention, and then she will get all flustered and confused when you give it quickly and then push it away. When she does not know what to make of you is when she starts feeling that attraction for you.

3- This is a killer technique to use after you have done the above two. Lean in to her like you are going to kiss her, then move your mouth to her ear and pause for a second, not quite touching her ear and not touching her anywhere else. Then whisper to her (something brief and cocky, like what are you looking at, or, excuse me I need the salt) and pull back a little, dragging your mouth from her ear to the corner of her mouth WITHOUT touching her skin, and then pull away. David DeAngelo says this is sure to leave her off balance and wanting more.

Now – keep in mind – these are things to use playfully and in order to build attraction for her. Don’t be mean and don’t use women – that only perpetuates the PUA myths that really screw up great dating advice.

So – once you can tell that you have her attraction amplified and burning brightly for you (if it does not work right at the beginning, keep it up! Rinse and repeat!) then it is time to move in before you lose the attraction and she slips easily back into the friend zone. So – amp up the attraction and then make your move. David DeAngelo reminds you; too, not to talk about your feelings with her before you make your move either, that will kill it.

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