Learning how to attract women is always a huge dating advice request that I get, and one of the things that David DeAngelo addresses very commonly in his newsletters and programs. I really like one of the premises for attraction that David DeAngelo addresses in his Double Your Dating eBook, though – and it is how YOU can develop a personality that is irresistible to women.
In case you have not read the Double Your Dating eBook, this is on page 48. What David DeAngelo discusses is the fact that in his experience, it is FAR better to ATTRACT a woman than to chase one. Wouldn’t you agree? I mean, if the woman is attracted to you, half the battle is won, and you don’t need GI Joe to tell you that.
It’s like selling a car to someone who has already asked about it, rather than cold calling the dude up the street and saying hey, you wanna buy a car?
Ok – so women are attracted to guys for certain reasons – and when these reasons are triggered inside her, it’s on. You can learn to specifically trigger these trip-wires with certain behaviors on YOUR end that attract women, regardless of your looks.
After all, attraction is not a CHOICE; it is a genetically wired thing.
One of the key things that you can do to help fire off these attraction mechanisms, according to David DeAngelo, is to be “Different in a preferential way” (David DeAngelo, Double Your Dating, p 48). I love this phrase.
In order to be different in an attractive and magnetic way, you need to take a look inside yourself, and decide first of all what your best characteristics are. And man, knowing all the characters on Star Wars is NOT an attractive characteristic to a woman. I am talking about humor, wittiness, charm, charisma, strength, intelligence and other positive characteristics.
You might be thinking, well, I really have NONE of those! Ok – first of all that is alright, second, you are not alone and third, you can do something about it. Learn. Study. If you want to be a funny or witty guy, study Cocky Comedy. If you want to be poetic and expressive in an intelligent way – read some poetry, some classic novels, study essays and writings and give it a go yourself! If you want to BE charismatic – study people who ARE charismatic and learn from their demeanor. Learn the confidence, the body language; practice it in the mirror and EVERYWHERE you go. It will soon become second nature.
Learn to be a LEADER. Read books on it! (I will be getting a book list up soon on my website which will have a selection of recommended books from David DeAngelo’s reading list as well as many others to help you on your way.)
On my next post, we will be talking about your two biggest enemies – insecurity and neediness – and what these two insidious attraction killers look like to women, so stay tuned for that!
Showing posts with label attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attraction. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Dating Advice for Guys from David DeAngelo - The First Phone Call
David DeAngelo talks about how important it is to create attraction with women, but one of the most asked questions I get is how to create that attraction with a woman over the phone. Creating attraction with a woman can be difficult for a guy when the interaction is taking place over a non-face-to-face medium (like the phone or instant messenger or something).
So here are some tips that I have gleaned from David DeAngelo about how to create attraction for a woman over the phone, and how to have that especially sticky “first phone conversation”.
The first thing that you need to do, according to David DeAngelo, is to HAVE a PLAN. That’s right – dude – you have got to plan this out (and of course, admit it to no one!). If you don’t have a plan, you will find yourself going, “Uhhhhhh……” and sounding like a total dork, and not getting the date. So PLAN MAN.
One great thing you can do is to have some kind of inside joke with her before you call. So if you meet her in a bar – you are going to be using David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy (right??) and trying to amp up the attraction using humor – so bust on her about something, and then bring it up right when you call her. So if you call her a klutz or bust on her shoes, have some kind of joke around it to pop off right when you call her. This will establish a connection with her and open her up a bit.
You also should write down some things on your list that you really want to know about her, but try to make the questions unique, David DeAngelo recommends. Ask her things like what kinds of guys she respects or likes, what kinds of movies catch her interest and why, what kinds of music she likes and why – always ask her why! This will give you insight into her personality and give you a few hints about things that make attraction work for her. Maybe she mentions that she LOVES the movie Twilight – and many women do (David Deangelo has not recommended this movie yet, but I do. He mentions Hitch – which is also a great one). Why? The lead character is the Alpha Male Vampire of every woman’s dreams – Edward good bad guy or bad good guy whatever you want to call him is a very BAD BOY – after all – he’s a vampire – who is trying so hard to contain his lust for her and protect her from his own strength and bad qualities. He whisks her away from danger, he always leaves her wanting more, he is there when she least expects it and makes her feel cherished and confused all at the same time. If you have not watched the movie – watch it – guys can learn from this stuff!
Ok, another thing that David DeAngelo recommends is to have your own stories to tell. Now – don’t do this like the typical guy, here. Ok? Listen to what she has to say, don’t fall all over yourself to tell your stories. That is a total turn off for women. David DeAngelo recommends telling stories that are TRUE and show something about your own character, things you want her to know about you without you telling her “I am charming, strong, intelligent, funny, blah blah blah…”. You want her to know, but tell it to her in an interesting and fun way.
David DeAngelo also recommends that you have a date idea ready for her – something fun that you want to do or you know she will like. Or, if you get the feeling that she is a little hesitant, recommend a coffee date or a lunch date where there will be none of that “Do I come in?” tension. A lunch date is also great because, according to David DeAngelo, you can leave her wanting more very easily, using time constraints and things, so she is hungry for more.
So remember, according to David DeAngelo, have a PLAN that includes some Cocky Comedy, real life stories, a date plan and a plan to really listen to what she says in order to create attraction for her and make her want to get to know more about YOU in the end.
So here are some tips that I have gleaned from David DeAngelo about how to create attraction for a woman over the phone, and how to have that especially sticky “first phone conversation”.
The first thing that you need to do, according to David DeAngelo, is to HAVE a PLAN. That’s right – dude – you have got to plan this out (and of course, admit it to no one!). If you don’t have a plan, you will find yourself going, “Uhhhhhh……” and sounding like a total dork, and not getting the date. So PLAN MAN.
One great thing you can do is to have some kind of inside joke with her before you call. So if you meet her in a bar – you are going to be using David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy (right??) and trying to amp up the attraction using humor – so bust on her about something, and then bring it up right when you call her. So if you call her a klutz or bust on her shoes, have some kind of joke around it to pop off right when you call her. This will establish a connection with her and open her up a bit.
You also should write down some things on your list that you really want to know about her, but try to make the questions unique, David DeAngelo recommends. Ask her things like what kinds of guys she respects or likes, what kinds of movies catch her interest and why, what kinds of music she likes and why – always ask her why! This will give you insight into her personality and give you a few hints about things that make attraction work for her. Maybe she mentions that she LOVES the movie Twilight – and many women do (David Deangelo has not recommended this movie yet, but I do. He mentions Hitch – which is also a great one). Why? The lead character is the Alpha Male Vampire of every woman’s dreams – Edward good bad guy or bad good guy whatever you want to call him is a very BAD BOY – after all – he’s a vampire – who is trying so hard to contain his lust for her and protect her from his own strength and bad qualities. He whisks her away from danger, he always leaves her wanting more, he is there when she least expects it and makes her feel cherished and confused all at the same time. If you have not watched the movie – watch it – guys can learn from this stuff!
Ok, another thing that David DeAngelo recommends is to have your own stories to tell. Now – don’t do this like the typical guy, here. Ok? Listen to what she has to say, don’t fall all over yourself to tell your stories. That is a total turn off for women. David DeAngelo recommends telling stories that are TRUE and show something about your own character, things you want her to know about you without you telling her “I am charming, strong, intelligent, funny, blah blah blah…”. You want her to know, but tell it to her in an interesting and fun way.
David DeAngelo also recommends that you have a date idea ready for her – something fun that you want to do or you know she will like. Or, if you get the feeling that she is a little hesitant, recommend a coffee date or a lunch date where there will be none of that “Do I come in?” tension. A lunch date is also great because, according to David DeAngelo, you can leave her wanting more very easily, using time constraints and things, so she is hungry for more.
So remember, according to David DeAngelo, have a PLAN that includes some Cocky Comedy, real life stories, a date plan and a plan to really listen to what she says in order to create attraction for her and make her want to get to know more about YOU in the end.
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